As the columns come crashing down.
I am glad you graced me with your presence.
I moved to:
Here
You're in time to see me wrestle with my conscence.
Paint me something pretty.
Take it in, it's not too much to see.
We knew this moment was ours, don't give it up or chase it away.
The seams on our tale start to fray.
Draw the blinds and lock the door. I'm treading water, far from shore.
The water serves to break my fall. Open up my lungs and hear my call.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
Put your faith in me and step off the edge, I promise I'll break your fall.
You will fly if you take the plunge.
You said it couldn't be done, I said it's never been done.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
I'm calling out to you, can you hear me?
Just believe in me. Just believe in us.
Happy thoughts like Peter Pan. The imagination of a boy that shows we all can fly.
Fly away with me.
You said it can't be done, I said it's never been done.
Just close your eyes and take my hand.
Follow me to Neverland.
This is our happy ending.
This is our answered prayer.
Veek-Tor-Re-Yer.
I will eat your lies and love its poison.
I've the superpowers to get distracted easily.
Sometimes, just because I'm listening and talkng to you, it doesn't mean we are friends.
Music circulates my blood, its rhythm runs in my veins.
I don't believe in second chances. There is a reason why it didn't work at the first time.
I swear. I have a high tendency to irritate and get irritated.
I am easily knocked over. I talk without much thinking. I do things without a particular reason. I take notice of things too much sometimes.
I don't give you the truth all the time. I dont't tell you the facts right in your face. I'll feed you lies sometimes.
And I don't deal with things the perfect way.
Most of the times, I'll argue with you for no reason whatsoever. But I usually have a pretty damn good excuse.
By the end of the day, some will love me, some will hate me. I don't mind which.
As long as you're not in that mid-ground where you love me one minute and want to rip my head off the next.
Because if things are that way, I'll make you hate me through and through.
I would like to meet people who can entertain me without having to try. Because I get bored easily.
I would love to have lots of money. I don't mind if I drown in it.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
there's a lot of things i wanna post about
but i dont think i cant, so i wont. & i dont feel like :/
i thought blogs were places you could post about your feelings
but i have to accept the fact that blogs arent private
they arent suitable for expressing you own thoughts deep inside
unless you create one & lock it up/or probably remain anonymous
yeah, that probably might work
but it just makes me feel... restricted?
yeah. the feeling of having something not being to use it
the feeling of being tied down by everything.
everytime, i tell myself to get used to life on this blog, it doesnt work
i mean, it's supposed to be
MY blog, not others
i created it to express myself & not using this as a judgement area
but it turns out to be one in the end o.o
i could really post out my feelings now & not leaving out the real names
i would probably add a few vulgarities
but in that way i would get criticized, scolded & whatever crap it is
yeah, the fear of getting scolded & disappointing people
i have changed so much that i dont even recognize myself
i am not sure whether i like this change-.-
it all seems like an act.
like i am hiding behind a mask, when my spirit is trying to break free
sometimes, i really wonder why i am doing this
to make myself feel more better?
to avoid being scolded?
to make people feel better?
to get the feeling of accepted?
to avoid disappointing people?
to let myself have a goal?
thousands & millions ways for me to change
yet, there are also thousands & millions ways for me to not change.
but i knew that if i did not change i would be disappointing the people around,
including myself too.
i never thought i would regret this change, but i now i kinda do.
i actually like the way i was
i like the feeling of freedom
i like the feeling of not being a hypocrite
i like the feeling my true self & not hiding behind a mask
i like the feeling of talking & smiling in my own way & own world
i like the feeling of doing things my own way & laughing at my own silliness
sometimes i really wonder,
will you people stop giving me expectations & demands?
i didnt said i wouldnt change, neither did i say i would change
i mean, i am not sure what i want
but neither did i say you all can make the choice for me
you know what? you all are just like my parents
"it's all for your own good"
oh, stop bullshitting, people
i know what's my OWN GOOD & i decide it for myself
you all arent me
you all dont know what i am going through either
you all dont even know a slightest thing about me
yeah, so maybe why dont you all just shut up & listen for once?
but i guess it will never happen.
restrict me, scold me, tie me down, do whatever it takes to ruin my life
i dont care anymore
my life is already torn down halfway by you all
i mean, nothing is the same around here anymore
i hardly can even recognize myself
i hate the feeling of disappointing you all
so i hid myself in a mask ithought u all thought will be beautiful
yet, i hate myself more for faking my life & self
for once, i just wanted to be myself
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