As the columns come crashing down.
I am glad you graced me with your presence.
I moved to:
Here
You're in time to see me wrestle with my conscence.
Paint me something pretty.
Take it in, it's not too much to see.
We knew this moment was ours, don't give it up or chase it away.
The seams on our tale start to fray.
Draw the blinds and lock the door. I'm treading water, far from shore.
The water serves to break my fall. Open up my lungs and hear my call.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
Put your faith in me and step off the edge, I promise I'll break your fall.
You will fly if you take the plunge.
You said it couldn't be done, I said it's never been done.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
I'm calling out to you, can you hear me?
Just believe in me. Just believe in us.
Happy thoughts like Peter Pan. The imagination of a boy that shows we all can fly.
Fly away with me.
You said it can't be done, I said it's never been done.
Just close your eyes and take my hand.
Follow me to Neverland.
This is our happy ending.
This is our answered prayer.
Veek-Tor-Re-Yer.
I will eat your lies and love its poison.
I've the superpowers to get distracted easily.
Sometimes, just because I'm listening and talkng to you, it doesn't mean we are friends.
Music circulates my blood, its rhythm runs in my veins.
I don't believe in second chances. There is a reason why it didn't work at the first time.
I swear. I have a high tendency to irritate and get irritated.
I am easily knocked over. I talk without much thinking. I do things without a particular reason. I take notice of things too much sometimes.
I don't give you the truth all the time. I dont't tell you the facts right in your face. I'll feed you lies sometimes.
And I don't deal with things the perfect way.
Most of the times, I'll argue with you for no reason whatsoever. But I usually have a pretty damn good excuse.
By the end of the day, some will love me, some will hate me. I don't mind which.
As long as you're not in that mid-ground where you love me one minute and want to rip my head off the next.
Because if things are that way, I'll make you hate me through and through.
I would like to meet people who can entertain me without having to try. Because I get bored easily.
I would love to have lots of money. I don't mind if I drown in it.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
sleep is difficult. im tired. but i cant get to sleep. insomnia is getting to me nowadays.
my muscles hurt in my face from talking/smiling/crying/chewing/singing.
i dont feel good, which is probably due to the noise my parents are making & my mind is working overtime again.
just took a muscle relaxer(well, that's what the bottle said) & its starting to work finally.
my toes are tingly and my legs are loose. so i guess im supposed go to bed.
but i just cant get to sleep. this shit is confusing me.
you know, my fingers hurt. in a nice sort of way.
i like the way the guitar strings press into my flesh. it feels so comforting.
i see the red lines on my fingers & i like the way it twinges slightly when i press it.
i feel like coating my mind & heart with bleach to wash away everything.
or maybe menthol to numb it. & maybe rub my throat with lime/lemon.
i never felt so confused & horrible in my life before. even the lonely phase seemed alot better than this.
i thought i could wash you away my willpower. but my willpower is failing.
im afraid of thinking. afraid of hearing you name. afraid of you clouding my thoughts.
it's as if every breath i take makes you pop back in my mind again like a irritating popup.
today's 16september. & im feeling punched-in-the-stomach by it. few more hours & it's my birthday.
yesterday was like a ugly reminder of the fact that im growing older.
fourteen sounds old. fourteen sounds ugly. it looks ugly too.
maybe if i had put my life to good use two/three years ago, my opinions might differ now.
i might have been shaking with excitement by now.
oh well, i guess life's too unpredictable.
maybe i should take all my savings out & blow it on a good cd by hawthorne heights/sensesfail.
im in a mood of doing spontaneous things.
i want to feel this dangerous thrill down my spine, like the way your heart beat really fast when you race down the road.
i want my mind to accelerate with fear & recklessness, the feeling of risk.
i want my body to be pumped with adrenaline, with excitement, the sense of literally shaking with esctasy.
my fingers are feeling tingly(: that's good sign. it means the muscle relaxer is still in work.
might be due to sleep anytime. im waiting.
i think im gonna lie on my bed now. & listen to hawthorne heights.
{.1:23:00 AM
