As the columns come crashing down.
I am glad you graced me with your presence.
I moved to:
Here
You're in time to see me wrestle with my conscence.
Paint me something pretty.
Take it in, it's not too much to see.
We knew this moment was ours, don't give it up or chase it away.
The seams on our tale start to fray.
Draw the blinds and lock the door. I'm treading water, far from shore.
The water serves to break my fall. Open up my lungs and hear my call.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
Put your faith in me and step off the edge, I promise I'll break your fall.
You will fly if you take the plunge.
You said it couldn't be done, I said it's never been done.
This could be so much more than anything ever before.
If you put your faith in me I promise one thing, I'll never let go, never let you go.
I'm calling out to you, can you hear me?
Just believe in me. Just believe in us.
Happy thoughts like Peter Pan. The imagination of a boy that shows we all can fly.
Fly away with me.
You said it can't be done, I said it's never been done.
Just close your eyes and take my hand.
Follow me to Neverland.
This is our happy ending.
This is our answered prayer.
Veek-Tor-Re-Yer.
I will eat your lies and love its poison.
I've the superpowers to get distracted easily.
Sometimes, just because I'm listening and talkng to you, it doesn't mean we are friends.
Music circulates my blood, its rhythm runs in my veins.
I don't believe in second chances. There is a reason why it didn't work at the first time.
I swear. I have a high tendency to irritate and get irritated.
I am easily knocked over. I talk without much thinking. I do things without a particular reason. I take notice of things too much sometimes.
I don't give you the truth all the time. I dont't tell you the facts right in your face. I'll feed you lies sometimes.
And I don't deal with things the perfect way.
Most of the times, I'll argue with you for no reason whatsoever. But I usually have a pretty damn good excuse.
By the end of the day, some will love me, some will hate me. I don't mind which.
As long as you're not in that mid-ground where you love me one minute and want to rip my head off the next.
Because if things are that way, I'll make you hate me through and through.
I would like to meet people who can entertain me without having to try. Because I get bored easily.
I would love to have lots of money. I don't mind if I drown in it.
Friday, April 11, 2008
I am always the one that bleeds.
I remembered the days I had ran so freely.
The days I had laugh till I cried and my stomach ached like hell. The days I had been able to love and hate. The days I had been able to share my life. The days I had been able to fall so easily. And be picked up more easily. The days that I had talked that my mouth feels so numb.
I miss the days that I had cried so hard that it hurt.
The days I scrolled down my phone phone list, looking for comfort when I felt down. The days I felt a whisper in my heart, telling me it would be okay. The days I had believed that anonymous whisper. The days I had felt this wave of relief and comfort washing over me after crying for hours. The days that I had felt so secure. The days I had felt that feeling of familarity and warmth.
And I will never forget the days I had cried, thirsting for a better life.
Everything seems to be out of place. Life's been more of a whirl nowadays.
I always wanted a long break. A break from all these fucking conspiracies.
I admit I'm more of an escapist. I'd prefer to run away.
I need to take a breather. And run away to the top of a tall building.
I need to not care, or at least act like I do not give a damn.
A moment of peace. Maybe then I'll figure things out.
I believe we all have hells in our life.
Things that bound us tightly. Pieces of past that haunt us.
Nagging thoughts gnawing through my brain.
Layer by layer, they tear away my future and everything seems to fall apart in my eyes.
Guilt, confusion, disappointment, anger, fatigue aren't a good combination.
I know I can't lie anymore. I can't do this anymore.
Maybe I can fool them. But I cant bear myself lying anymore.
This guilt is eating me up. Destroying, tearing me apart.
I know leaving would mean losing everything.
Including the friends I have made. Including an important piece of me.
But everything, everything had been brought down by a single drunken sentence.
Sometimes, I really wonder, whether my purpose there was just mainly to antagonize people?
In my pursuit for revenge, I found something better. But I couldnt settle down.
This decision leaves an bitter aftertaste on my tongue. I feel like I'm choking.
Because I know there's really this something better out there.
And I have to give it up because of one mindless sentence.
Sometimes, I wish that I was someone else.
Someone naive. Someone a little more happy. Someone who knew how to let go.
Sometimes, I wish that I was a cloud.
Then I would be floating through life, looking down on all the humans having their daily life. If I were a cloud, I wouldn't have to worry about anything, as I wont have feelings or thoughts, which makes things so much easier.
I dont fucking deserve this. I really dont. You don't deserve this much sacrifice.
This is life. This is struggle. This is love. This is war.
{.6:48:00 PM
